Digsite

yep, i forced myself to start getting rid of some of these stacks of paperwork/mail/statements/bills/whatever sorted out. I’m not there yet, but i’m beginning to feel a little liberated. woohoo!!! I’m the accountant in the house so i can’t ask dennis to do it. he wouldn’t know where to start with this mess. I totally beleive in feng shui, well at least the part about how the state of your surroundings can affect your mood and state of mind.

i also decided i just can’t eat very much anymore. if i eat to fill (like i have always done all my life – a very hard habit to break) the i just feel awefull/lethargic/crappy for a couple hours afterwards and the problem is compounded when you’re eating every 3 hours! i swear i eat like a fucking hog! Now if i can just stick to this i just may be able to survive the rest of this pregnancy. it’s really getting much harder.

welp, today we’re going to start painting the baby’s room. we got the paint yesterday The lucky colors are white and purple or in the words of the very creative paint color namers at Baer’s, dusty snow and purple freezia. LOL Once Dennis can get his lazy ass out of bed we can go to rooms to go too. YAY! we’re hoping to get a new bedroom set today if possible. …for ourselves, not the baby… I CAN’T WAIT!

I don’t know what’s going on with me this week… well, i guess i do know… HORMONAL OVERLOAD.! I’ve been in an overall PISSED OFF mood since yesterday but the funny thing is i only feel that way from the moment i set foot at work to the moment i set foot back at my house after work. Then when i get here i just feel sorry for myself and depressed because dennis is at work and i have to be all alone. I’m just so glad noone has really tried to talk to me at work… or maybe they’re lucky, i dunno… On top of that i’ve been SO miserably needy these days. I need dennis for everything especially for emotional support. He’s taking it like a sport, maybe he likes it, i dunno. but after a while i get tired of depending on someone so much. i need him to reassure me i don’t look like a cow, i need him to hug me every 2 hours, i need him to talk to me and just be with me all the time. poor man. LOL god it’s pathetic but really nothing i can do, it’s just the way i feel.

it doesn’t help that my sleep schedule is all fucked up. I can’t help it. I slept today from 6:30pm to 11:30pm and now i’m up… i feel hagard and i could sleep again but i know once my head hits the pillow, heartburn will take over and then it will be 30 minutes worth of tossing and turning till by some miracle of god i fall asleep.. i just really really really hate that 30 minutes of agony. damn! I’m going to be SO happy after this baby is born so my body can get back to normal. I just hope ppd doesn’t come visiting too.