digsite

there’s been a lot of talk today and on LJ about someone who passed away recently. someone who worked in the dungeon with us. I wasn’t going to say anything about it here on LJ because I didn’t know him and I really don’t feel ‘qualified’ to say anything really.

After so many years working at the co. and just over the cubicle wall, it seems shocking but there was never a situation where we ever had to talk to one another about anything work related or otherwise. i never even knew what his name was until dennis started working there… I couldn’t even remember what he looked like till i saw a pic on ids after work. I thought it would refresh my memory but it didn’t do a good job of it.

I know I passed him on the way in and out of the dungeon *rarely* and we had the briefest of chats regarding the shock of hearing a small child’s voice in the dungeon (my daughter). since i didn’t really know him I don’t feel any sadness for the loss of him, the person… only a general sadness that the life of someone so young with a seemingly long future ahead would be cut short and so abruptly and unexpectedly.

I feel shock at the realization that you just never know when your time will come. I can’t help but think about what his last moments were like .. was he unconsious when he hit the water, did he try to get out… what would I do in that situation.. and I feel fear because we have a 5 hour road trip both ways next weekend . I was already worried about the trip before and felt like something bad was looming ahead and that I should take extra care on the trip… then i hear about this. I can’t help but wonder what amount of guilt his dad must have felt or is feeling over this. because the mourning process can be irrational.. would he think that his illness is at fault for his own son’s death. I’m sure it’s crossed his mind at least once.