digsite

Ok, here goes.

I’m living in a really nice first floor condo/apartment with my husband, my daughter, and my girlfriend. That’s right, my girlfriend. She’s living there with us along with her husband. (In the dream, she has a husband and two kids) So my husband and her husband tolerate this living arrangement because their wives (me and her) are in love and want to be together. Her husband is hardly ever there either..

I did something in the beginning of this dream that pissed her off beyond words. I can’t remember what it was, but she left me and her husband was all too happy to leave too. I remember feeling upset that she left and I was in the living room sitting on the couch there feeling bad about it and also bad that my husband had to deal with it but he looked unaffected by it all. I still was feeling bad tho. And then also felt rejected by this woman. But as I was sitting there on this big long couch (btw, our condo was huge) I kept thinking to myself “but why don’t i feel anything for her like love or something? shouldn’t I feel some kind of lust at least if I was with her to begin with?” but the question was never answered. I felt only a feeling that I had to get her back because I didn’t want to feel rejected.

Dennis and I were getting ready for something… and I kept looking at the patio sliding doors because I was afraid we could be seen from the outside. I opened the doors and saw there is a long passageway from the doors to our patio which curved. so nobody could see. I thought how strange this floor plan is. It’s very private, cozy even, but not anything I’d ever seen used for real.

Minutes later, I leave the condo to go to her old house with a couple of my old friends. The house was dark, dusty and looked very abandoned. cobwebs everywhere. She and her husband were obviously not there. It was really apparent that nobody had been there in ages. We walked into her bedroom. There was a big armoir against one wall with one of the doors half open. One of my friends opened it all the way and saw that it was filled with weapons. Hard core weapons like rocket launchers and grenades and shit.

I looked over at a small table next to it and saw a receipt for $1100 dollars written in hand. on the letter head of the receipt it said “Socialist Group”. I looked at it, and picked it up. Next thing I know we all look behind us towards the back of the room and we see a dead body laying on the floor sortof proped up against the wall. It was a big bald man shot in the head. It looked like it could have been Bruce Willis. LOL! but, alas, he was dead.

We panic and want to get out of there as fast as we can so nobody thinks we are involved in whatever arms trading or murders went on in here. I put the reciept back on the table but then realized that my finger prints were all over it now. I coudln’t decide what to do. should i leave it or take it? If I took it with me and destroyed it, then I’d be safe. But if I left it, it might help the authorities find whoever’s responsible for all this.

I finally took it with me, crumpled it up into a little ball and shoved it in my pocket. We all went outside and piled into my friend’s tiny car and started driving out of the parking lot. I kept putting my hand in my pocket and feeling the bit of paper. I almost threw it out the window but that would have been too risky. we were still too close to the house. Moments later we noticed that my husband and daughter are out there in the parking lot in the darkness walking towards us. What the hell are they doing out there?! I didn’t ask. We just stopped and crammed them into the car and started back to our condo again.

On the ride back I start thinking about the girl who left me and wondered why she never let me meet her two kids. (some of this is carry over from yesterday’s debbie rowe testimony in micheal jackson’s case lol nothing disturbs me more than a mother who accepts not parenting for her own kids. the dream just twisted it up.) Anyway, I felt like she didn’t want them to meet me because she never intended on it lasting between us or she was ashamed of me for some reason. This thought also made me feel really bad.

When we got back to our condo, there was this huge posse of neighbors sitting in lawn chairs in front of our patio having a big ‘ol party. We weren’t sure how to get back inside unnoticed but then I remembered.. nobody can see inside our house from the patio.

then I woke up. :/

While helping a friend of mine look at cms’s for a future family site he’s got planned, I discovered and got hooked on mambo. There’s even talk of future integration with wordpress! To hell with phpnuke and postnuke! Mambo does all I want it to do .. and it’s pretty too :) So i’ve been working a bit on redoing a site (just one this time!) and getting rid of all the fragments of sites i’ve got all over the place. I want a place to build a cute page for Jada and the future kid too. (no i’m not pregnant!) I have wordpress wrapped in it. (not integrated but hey). gallery2 is integrated. tng is wrapped.. but smf is integrated! woot! It’s not close to being done or even close to being close to being done so I won’t put the url here just yet.

btw, maddy… i’m sorry i have abandoned my organise site.. running a site with members isn’t something a procrasitnator should have delved into!! I haven’t entirely decided what to do with it just yet but it most will stay.. but not in the capacity it is now.

Not much else going on… just work… and trying create some kind of structure for myself at work and at home. so far it’s working… i think..