Monthly Archive for June, 2005

Thu
Jun, 30
2005

It’s appointment month!

… it’s turning out that way, anyway.

dentist 2 days ago.
new obgyn today (gotta leave early again)
dermatologist in 12 days as well smack in the middle of the week again.

That skin rash that started when i was 3 months pg with J never did go away completely. It’s always yo-yo’d and gotten worse then better then worse, etc. It started getting worse again over the last 10 days but this time it’s REAHEEALY bad and I’ve had it dammit! that appt. in the middle of the week was the soonest I could get.

I just went nutso yesterday and got some athelete’s foot antifungal spray at the store and sprayed my whole torso with it 3 times! I dunno whatever the hell it is or if this spray will help but I just want it TO GO AWAY DAMMIT! I even smeared monistat 7 cream all over myself. Hell if I know if it will help or not. but short of taking a lighter to my skin, i will try anything.

today i smeared dandruff shampoo all over and let it sit for a while, sometimes I drip calamine lotion on the worst spot to kill the itching. It’s still spreading down my stomach tho and I really don’t want it to make it way down to my belly button again like it did 2 years ago. The only bad thing about going to the derm is that *IF* i get pg soon, then I won’t be able to use a lot of kinds of meds. I should know by then, tho, if i’m pg this month or not. And if i’m not, we might have to put it on hold till i kill this thing on my skin, and finish up the dental work.

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Wed
Jun, 29
2005

yay!

I chewed on my right side for the first time in 6 weeks!!! and I almost cried! i’m not exaggerating either! I was soo happy that I got choked up! god, i’m a sap sometimes. LOL!!

it’s not totally pain free because of the drilling and shots but .. that terrible shooting nerve pain is GONE! Now i just gotta train myself to use my right side again. I keep avoiding it out of habit.

Ah! and I finally figured out how to add F’ing javascript to mambo content without having the wysiwyg editor strip out F’ing the tags. FINALLY!

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Tue
Jun, 28
2005

feelin’ crappy

I had to leave an hour early to go back to my dentist today. That filling swap he did for me 6 weeks ago STILL HURTS! I went back 2 weeks ago but whatever he did didn’t help. So today he took the filling out and replaced it with a temporary medicated filling cement thingy. He says there could have been any number of things wrong with that filling and this medicated thing is supposed to “calm the tooth down”. I sure as hell hope it works. There’s only so much molar pain a person can take!!

now my mouth is in pain cuz the anesthesia wore off. ow! :( I don’t feel so hot. I keep thinking I have a fever or something cuz my face and neck feels hot but I’m not totally sure about it.. My throat is a little sore too.. but I dunno if i’m coming down with something or if some of the leftovers from the drilling and/or anesthesia swap made it down my throat. Whatever it is.. I hope it’s short lived. :(

i’m sittin’ here watching J watching sesame street. Whenever they count from 1 to 10, she’s started saying ‘tee, tee, tee, tee, tee…’ she’s trying to count with them. LOL!!

so i paid for LJ but dammit i’m having so much trouble including the javascript in static content page! what a piece of shit!

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Tue
Jun, 28
2005

My first post about baby #2 – 2ww

Dennis and I want to have at least 2 children. (I secretly want 3 but my age and our work situation are sorta making me realize that 2 is the number of choice) So since 2 is our agreed upon number, we decided it was time to start thinking and planning for baby #2. I think a 3 year age gap is as much as I want them to be. Anymore than that and it’d be too much.

Our daughter Jada was 18 month old when we planned it. We had decided to wait 6 months from that point so that our next baby would be born in the spring. My main reasoning was that a birthday party in July has been rough and we’ve only had to plan one of those so far. We don’t want our next baby to have a mid summer birthday as well and we don’t want a christmas baby either. So march, april, may seems perfect for us.

So 6 months have passed and here we are actively ttc #2. This is our first month at trying to make a baby. I have no idea if I’m going to be pregnant this month and no idea how many months it might take to get pregnant. All I know is that this is a very different experience from getting pregnant ‘by accident’. I thought it would be fun to ttc on purpose, and it was the first 2 days of bd’ing.. but on the 3rd day it started feeling like a chore. :(

With J, there was no stresses beforehand, but there were stresses afterwards because we weren’t even married yet. Still, things worked out OK for us. *I* felt ready for it, but I don’t think Dennis did. After a couple of months, tho, he was fine with it and started to get excited. For me, the stress lied with thinking that we had to rush to get married. What a mistake! I wish we had just had our baby and then gotten married afterwards calmly. Looking back on it, my reasons for wanting to rush and get married weren’t very good ones at all. I don’t regret being married to Dennis, but I do regret HOW we got married and why.

But I’m trying to took on the bright side and try to ‘fix’ it. We decided we’d celebrate our marriage later and get re-married maybe on our 10th year anniversary or our 5th year anniversary because 10 years seems like so long to wait.. It might just take 10 years before I can relax enough to have fun and know how to plan a nice simple and enjoyable wedding for us and our families. I’d love to have our kids be flower girl and ring bearer.

Anyways, it’ll be 10 days before we find out if Dennis knocked me up for the second time. ;) heeheee! I wish I knew at this moment if we’ve fertilized an egg! That baby would be free floating right now and not attached itself to my uterus yet. So it’s too soon to feel any symptoms at all.

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Tue
Jun, 28
2005

Woohoo!! We’re getting some kind of a life back!!

Dennis and a couple other co-workers are switching their schedules around. In the end of it all, D will end up on 2nd shift. WHICH IS WONDERFUL!! This is a great change for us and we’ll be able to have some kind of a life again.

This means that he’ll be able to sleep at NIGHT and we’ll have the same days off again FINALLY. I’ll have to move my shift up 2 hours to make it work. Too bad eric isn’t here to approve the shift change for me but I’m sure he’ll be OK with it. He already told me long time ago that he and other Eric would be flexible with us, so I’m sure it’ll be ok.. I’ll still talk to Fred anyway tho. I’m basically just switching back to the schedule I had before D got the job at NT which is the TRUE hours for a 1st shifter anyway. This starts next week for us after the weekend. It won’t be fun getting up at 6 am but I’ve done it before so it’s no big deal.

So, let’s see… I’ll have to be up at 6am, I won’t have to worry about getting J up anymore and draggin her in to work with me which is fantasmic! D will bring her in a 3pm, though, and then i leave with her and do whatever. So we’ll be doing the baby swap 5 days a week instead of 3. eeesh.. just realized this as i was typing. oh well, we gotta do what we gotta do. Once we buy a mini-van we’ll be swapping cars too so the swap will be quicker than it is now. Gotta figure out what we’ll do on meeting days. mine is at 3, his is at 4. so now i’m the one who’s gotta figure out what to do about the meetings. He’ll be on shift for his now so no worries there. maybe he’ll have to keep her an extra hour and come in late on those days.. Or I’ll have to leave early so I can phone in from home. we’ll figure it out.

It’s going to be nice having a longer evening now cuz I can try to find something to do with J outside of the house for a change. I dunno what we’ll do but I’m going to try to find something like a play group or gymnastics or swimming or something.

In other news, i’m having one of “those” days today. Almost the kind of day that has kept me from coming in to work before.. It started out happy because of the shift change news, but 10 minutes into my day and now I’m feeling moody and don’t know why. feeling ‘down’.

I had another dream last night, a pretty shitty dream. This one was about adoption again but I don’t remember specifics this time.. I’m not even going to try to figure out what my problem with adoption stems from today. Maybe the mood shift had something to do with the dream, maybe it’s from feeling ‘detached’ with other parts of my life, i dunno. i don’t care. If there’s such a thing as reincarnation, i must have been a mother who put their kid up for adoption in a previous life. LOL!

anyways, I wanna have me some coffee to feel better but i’ve been trying to cut down. Well half a cup can’t hurt, right? I gotta tie up some sentinel loose ends today so i gotta get to work and stop slacking. sigh…. Damn, I’m getting tired of working on this servmon shit. I feel like I own it so much that I take it personal when people fuck with it, but I’m feeling detached from all other things with my job. alright alright.. time to get coffee. laterz..

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Mon
Jun, 27
2005

Crikey!!

I just spent $140 on J on amazon without even trying! eesh.. :-O

I got a couple ‘o activity books (one from the “giant encyclopedia” series), plus a couple new types of toys for her bday, a potty trainer, and a How-To book+dvd on parenting a toddler for mum ‘n dad. :D

J’s gotten to be SUCH a handful when we go out, it’s scary. She had a meltdown at BJ’s today and then again at Denny’s last weekend. oy vey! I think our problem is we just dunno how to ‘communicate’ with a toddler. The usual rules don’t apply. You can tell them “it’s ok, we’re going to leave soon. do you want some water?” cuz she just loses it even more. If I put my finger over my mouth and go ’shhhh’.. she just loses it even more.

I love the title of the first chapter of the book I ordered. “Help! I have a Neanderthal in my kitchen!” LOL!! and there’s this pic of a baby in a loin cloth with pots and pan everywhere and wielding cooking utensils up in the air. J doesn’t do that but she opens up the fridge and takes out her fave things like yogurt. today she showed up in the living room with the mustard and mayo. Only thing I know is that the gentler I correct her, the more likely she is to NOT cry about it.

The author wrote that book called “The happiest baby on the block” we never got to read the book but we saw a video at Lamaze class. I think D should remember it. He talked about how to swaddle and how to sway the baby to trigger their “relax reflex” or something along those lines… the 5 or 6 S’s.. Amazing stuff. I just hope his book on toddlers is just as good. At least, it’s been pretty highly recommended to me by a couple other moms of toddlers.

anyways, I’m gonna try to turn in ‘early’ tonight. usually up til 2am but i’m trying to change that.

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