digsite

I have learned to take my own grandmother’s “advice” and have become a pro at silently dismissing her opinions over the years. She is one EXTREMELY opinionated and strong willed woman and pushes her beliefs on people with no mercy. But I’m so used to it that when she begins to preach at me, I make it so she thinks I’m agreeing or listening when I’m actually secretly purging the info out my mind. The reason I take this approach instead of arguing my point is that she doesn’t take well to being disagreed with. Disagreeing with her can quickly blow up into threats of never visiting eachother again. …so since she’s the older one with the health problems, I have conceded to avoiding the fights.

But I have yet to perfect that skill with the in-laws. Mainly because they don’t tend to voice their opinion very boldly as my grandmother. Instead, it seems like they talk about others and how they feel about others… then you can hear the underlying meaning of their words when you talk to them. Very sneaky like. I need to learn how to deal with that real quick. I don’t tend to counter with my own opinion because it’s never my intention to push my opinion on anybody. I usually give my opinion only when asked or, i guess, if the discussion is clearly an open debate. I really despise feeling like my life decisions are being questioned. My life, afterall, is my life. Dennis and my marriage and life, is afterall, our life. We make decisions based on whatever the both of us feels is right for us as a family. So…. if we decide to buy a house big or small, decide to go on a vacation short or long, decide to have 3, 4, 5 kids no matter how far apart in ages… whatever the case, it’s *OUR* business. Totally, utterly, and forever *OUR* business.

I know people will express their opinions, it’s only human i guess… but don’t act like you expect me/us to take your opinion and make it our own. I/we have our own family plan. Some of it may not be completely agreed upon, some may not even have been talked about yet, but still, that’s *OUR* business.

I can’t help but feel defensive about this kind of stuff when I think our family decisions are being challenged. But like I said, I need to learn how to let it go in one ear and out the other and then when I say goodbye just go right on living my life (our life) the way we damnwell choose to. I really do think it’s a waste of emotional energy for me to allow myself to feel this threatened by someone’s opinions no matter who they are.

thank you for listening. :)