digsite

There was a time (probably half my life) when I despised getting help from other people. My pride (or was it ego?) was so overly inflated I felt I could do anything without help from anyone (and i’m talking stuff like schoolwork here or anything computer related) . Hated asking for help, HATED getting help i didn’t ask for or having someone swoop in a fix something of mine without asking first. Well I grew out of that thankfully but every once in a while it still resurfaces. D and I shared an office at our last place of residence and we butted heads quite often because he’d help when it wasn’t welcome. Come to think of it, he’d react the same way when I’d help without askng.. (these were the days when we’d stay up till 7 am working on isntalling some OS or installing whatever shit of the week we were in to.)

But like I said, it still resurfaces. I wonder if it’s wrong of me or not… but anyway, a coworker swooped in and fixed something that was asked of me to fix without saying a word to me first. He just swooped & fixed. The same old feelings are there.. did he think i was incapable of doing it? did he think I needed the help and thought he was just being nice? maybe it’s less complicated than that and he was just saw a job that needed to be done and did it.. which is what makes our dept. a good one, imo.

But still, it bothered me. So much that I’m still spending thought cycles on this. ugh… I just really didn’t like getting the help when I didn’t need it, didn’t ask for it. sigh… oh well, it wasn’t THAT big of a deal i guess…

In other news…. there is no news. hmm I’m getting bigger around the middle. I’d say 50% of it is bloating. LOL! and I can feel the little booger squirm around on a daily basis now. Mostly in the AM after getting to work and eating something. I actually felt her over the outside under my hand.. It truely does feel like having a small squirrel inside squirming to get out. so weird. I guess i was too shocked during my first pregnancy to think of it this much. I realized there’s a another benefit to having 2 girls.. we could have them bunk in one bedroom and turn the smaller one into an office. FINALLY! we’d get to have an office again!!!