digsite

I just got back from visiting the fam in miami and I swear I go through the same emotions and adjustments each time I go there. Having lived an hour away from my fam since 1998 has attributed to my having become more “americanized” as we cubans say. I’ve become so much more used to the quiet, the slow paced conversations, the privacy..

So I get there, I’m excited as usual that i’m finally there and get to see the fam. especially my parents. The first few minutes to half hour are OK. but then it all went to hell after that. Let’s see.. as soon as more people pile into the room and start talking, I became disoriented. there were 3 conversations going on at the same time and I was being talked to by 2 people about 2 different subjects. I had a hard time keeping tack. I felt a bit dizzy from this. wow, i’m so out of practice now! I felt that I had been away too long… but that’s not the bad part. THANK GOD I left my heard monitor thingy at home cuz I probably would have had to explain 12 separate times what it is, why I have it , that no I don’t have a heart condition, that yes I’m OK and so is the baby, and then I woulda had to endure hours of unwanted advice.

I became pissed off so many times tonight I started to think maybe it wasn’t just them, it must have been my crazy preggo hormones. But no, there were a couple times when I think I became angry for valid reasons.

1) This one woman who has always annoyed me anyways (not family, but ex girlfriend of an uncle), commented a couple times that I’m really big for being 7 months pregnant. The first couple times, I just said yes you’re right, i’m big. shrug.. I mean what do you want me to do? shed 4 inches right there in front of you? But then she’s getting ready to leave and after we say goodbye’s she has to point out AGAIN how big I am to my grandmother and push the subject that I’m really big blah blah blah. My grandmother started to say I was fine and she insisted. At that point, i left the room. i mean WTF?! OK, so she said it once, twice i said yeah sure you’re right.. that ain’t good enough?! Why do you fucken keep saying it? Do you want me to grab a butcher knife and cut some of it off? !! jesus fuck the christ!

2) This other woman who had comented once on how big I am (and I don’t like her much either anyways) asks me “so do you have csections or natural?” I answered “well i had J with a c/s but I’m going to try to have this next one vaginally” Goddam, if this woman didn’t lose it. She got all irate on me and said “NO! YOU don’t decide if you have this baby normally, THE DOCTOR decides. YOU have no say in it. You have to do what the DOCTOR says”

OMG! after telling her ‘ok, so the doctor is letting me try vaginally then” if that makes her feel better… she still goes on and on. I left the room once again and go back to my grandmother’s. I told her and my dad what that woman said to me. She’s jsut insane!! It really is sad that she feels she has to leave her health to her doctor just like that and have no say in it.

jUST unbeleivable.

3) ok, i said this was going to happen didn’t I? but still, i was hoping I might have been able to avoid it. My grandmother (and father!) both start to lecture about how I should have my tubes tied after this baby. “If I were you… blah blah “. I told them twice that it’s a personal decision and i’m not ready to make it right now. Well, they kept on yammering and I tuned them out and stopped responding. I think they got the picture. But that won’t stop them from bringing it up again next time.. oh no…

4) When I got there I was really really hungry. I ATE. ok? I had croquettes, pastries, a plate full of food, 2 glasses of coke. and by then I was just so full I didn’t even want to look at food. But the pig hadn’t finished roasting till after I was done eating. Once that was done, everybody else started to eat. I must have been asked 12 times if I want to eat, if I’m going to make myself a plate, that I should eat, that I need to eat, that I really should make a plate and eat. OMG!! by the 7th time I started telling people to pleast stop asking, I even started just shaking my head and walking away when asked. My grandmother, who asked me 3 times after I already said no was really pushing it. I told her I was going to DIE literally if I had to think of food even for an instant just to answer that question again. I explained that the human stomach has limits, even that of a pregnant woman. Especially that of a pregnant woman actually, because my lungs area already getting crushed by my uterus.

She found this humorous but it worked. I didn’t get asked again (by her!) if i wasn’t going to eat.

Alright so it was a loud, boisterous visit and Jada had a great time. She really let loose shaking her ass all over the place each time she heard booty music. LOL! she was just so full of energy and thankfully there were plenty of people around to keep her entertained. But by 9:30pm it was time to go and so i packed loads of leftover food into the minivan, said my goodbyes, piled J and my fat ass into the car and started to head out.

This is where the family withdrawal started. I missed my family. Not all those ‘extra’ filler people there but my father, stepmother, gmother, even my cousin and aunts & uncles. But.. especially my parents. I felt so odd driving away and back to what my life has become. this quiet, secluded, boring little lifestyle of mine. sigh.. And this is the same routine I go through each time I visit. Minus the unwanted advice and comments from the “extra” filler people there, tho. What the fuck is up with those people anyways… god dog!