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So at my appt on monday (yesterday) and I already wrote about it somewhere else so I’ll just copy&paste:

First, my ob “checked” me… it hurt of course cuz my cervix is posterior and very far back. He had to push in a bit to feel it.. I was clearly in pain while he was doing it. Then when he was done he said “You’re thick and closed”.

HUH!!!? i said “2 weeks ago I was almost 2cm, how can that be?” he then said, ‘well maybe you’re a 1.5 cm but still pretty closed. ”

I got to talking about how at this point with dd i was 3 cm and 50+% effaced. He said all pregnancies are different… yeah, i know i know.. but I was still hoping for the same.. So I asked if he would strip my membranes next week. He said sure, but if your cervix is still very far back, I won’t be able to reach well enough. I said “man, it must have moved from my last pregnancy.. it wasn’t that far back back then” He then said “well, i’d have to push in a lot but I don’t want to hurt you”. I said “pffft.. i don’t care ifyou hurt me, I just want SOMETHING to happen, I’ve been having contractions all day every day” Then he said ” you want me to try?” i was like “you mean now?!” He nodded and I said “HELL YES!!” you couldn’t have gotten me to lie back fast enough.

So he started… MY GOD! It was bad enough when he had to push his hand to reach it.. but when he started the stripping… OOOUUUCH!!! Lemme tell you that was more pain than I had bargained for.

When he finally got a good feel on the cervix he said “oh! I think i was wrong! yup, i was wrong before. you’re actually a 3!!”

YYYYYAAAAAAYY!!!!! sooooo happy.!!!

ok, so J was born at 38 wks +3 days. That’s where I’m at before. When my old ob stripped me then, it was at just before 38 weeks. it took 4 days for something to happen. Dr. thinks nothing will really happen till after 39 weeks. Sad but I think he’s only being conservative. we’ll see.

But now that the end is really near.. i find i’m so afraid. so many mixed feelings about this. I’m way more afraid now than I was before. I think the biggest reason for that is not knowing who will deliver me. my ob will be oncall tonight, but not sure who will be on call the rest of the week. I really wished he’d be the one delivering me but it seems like it won’t be. Oh god please don’t let that witch from last week be the one. ANYBODY but her.