ugh. I dunno how I feel about this. I feel so conflicted.
So he says I’m the same as last week but the head “isn’t very low”. He went ahead and stripped my membranes again so i’m in a bit of pain. He said something to the effect that he can’t let me go too much farther past 41 wks and also that the longer I go, the bigger the baby will get and the lower my chances will be of a successful VBAC. He was going to say that if i made it to my next appt, he’d want to schedule a c/s but I jumped the gun and asked if i could schedule it now for then he said definitely and suggested thursday the 20th. So after I was done in there I went to the lady who does the scheduling and she was able to book me in for the 20th at 5:30pm which she mentioned was ‘miraculous’ considering the short notice.
At first i felt excited about the c/s being scheduled but as soon as I left I started to feel REALLY bumbed out about it. Even got the biggest headache thinking about it. There are a couple things that make the thursday c/s a good thing, but then there’s my personal feelings about it. I would rather try and fail at a vbac than not try at all.
c/s pros
1. fil has already scheduled this entire week off work and returns to work on monday. It’d be convenient if she were born while he was still off. Even tho the fact that he scheduled this time off is rediculous. We told him a hundred times nobody knows when she’s going to be born!
2. 2 weeks of my maternity leave is going to be “wasted” so far. I’m not too happy about that. I don’t want to make it 3 weeks wasted.
3. I’ll be done waiting and baby will be here in 3 days!
c/s cons
1. I’ll be unhappy about not trying a vbac and if i have complications from it, depression, and so on I’m going to regret it.
I talked about trying castor oil again today but dh is against it. So I probably won’t try it at all. … well… i’m i’m still preggy wed morning. Maybe i still will. ugh.. i dunno.
I could technically change my mind, call up my doc and see if they can reschedule the c/s or just cancel it till my next appt. One thing I forgot to ask about is if he would break my water to see if that started labor. Something tells me the answer to that would be no. But I would have like to ask anyway. Maybe i’ll call in the morning to ask it.
I wish someone could tell me what to do cuz i just don’t know. dh is zero help he just keeps saying “do whatever you feel comfortable with”. Sad I wish i had a crystal ball right about now.
I think thursday sounds like a wonderful day to have a baby. Ask my mom she agrees ;)
Anyways if you don’t do the c/s I wouldn’t worry too much about not being able to do a vbac. While they’re common, I’d personally still worry about doing it this late in the pregnancy … I’m no doctor, hell I don’t even have the parts to make a slightly educated guess about how they work, but it seems to me the bigger the baby is the higher the risk of complications from vbac.
Heck if me and Tanya ever get pregnant, she has already said that she has no interest in vbac after her experinece with being in labor for 72 hours with Adalya and still doing a c/s.
Anywho, it’s good to hear an update of what’s going on. We miss you around work. Hope things continure to go well.
Reply to squeaky19hi jason. i miss work too to some extent. It’s nice to sleep whenever the hell i want but being at home all day can have its drawbacks.
difficult vbac late in pregnancy is objective i think. depends on who you ask. doctors always push for c/s so they would always say it’s harder the longer i go. but midwives might say differently.
i rather try and be in agony for a while and fail than not try at all. But then I also am tired of waiting and would like my baby born already. kwim? sigh… why can’t i have both!
Reply to Tania (digsite)I wouldn’t call not trying a failure. Maybe you didn’t reach a goal you wanted, but it’s far from a failure when the end result is still the same joy of having a new child.
Reply to squeaky19