 So my daughter’s birthday party left us with a vast amount of leftover food most of which I sent away with guests. But this still left us with a HUGE chunk of cake, macaroni and potato salads, pizza, buffalo wings, etc. But what has been the most deadly to my “diet” has been the cheese puffs. I went over my calorie intake max yesterday by more than 300 cals. I feel that I’m back on track today, tho, and remotivated. Yesterday was not such a good day for motivation. ..but like I said, I feel pretty good today.
But I know that the food thing wasn’t really my source of demotivation. That had started a few days before so it must have been something else. My mood was slowly wilting and so was my self confidence. My self confidence was really hurt. By what and how is still a mystery to me. It was on the edge and then the party just made it hard to hang on to good feelings.
Overall, I guess the party went well, but I didn’t. I was nervous, anxious and I think it showed. This may have had something to do with how things went. Or at least with how I *perceived* things went.
It’s hard to admit even on ‘paper’ but whenever I feel my self confidence plumet and I feel *fear* and emotional malaise lately there’s one face that pops into my head and that’s of one of my coworkers who aside from being very knowledgable is also very (imo) arrogant and outspoken. Ever since one difference of opinion we had where I was unable to speak my mind at the time, my relationship with him has been strained. I’m not sure if I realized this until now or not. interesting how journaling makes me realize things all of a sudden.. YaY for journaling.
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