I have this angst weighing me down tonight that is really getting old.
Unfortunately I can't say I'm a stranger to this ….witches brew of caustic emotions. It's a close second to jealousy. In fact it might just be worse than that. It's been consuming me like a deadly fungus. I can't shake the feeling no matter what and history tells me it will just take time. Writing about it doesn't hurt either. 
I had a "situation" at work earlier with one of our new coworkers that is baffling to me. I won't bore you with the details and I really rather not get into it again, but suffice it to say this person gave me a great deal of mixed signals. I never thought he had a problem with me (I certainly didn't have one with him) but he acted as though he really disliked me and lashed out with the drippiest of sarcastic remarks. I found it very difficult to read him.
The one part where he compared me to a 4 year old might have been a joke, maybe not, but I didn't like it at all no matter what his motive might have been. It made me extremely angry but I never let on till after he left. Even then I decided to play it down. The rest of it … well, I would have filed it all off as a complete misunderstanding were it not for the 4 year old reference. These two new people are whistle blowers, cry babies, just the kind of people you dread to have to work with.
I knew there must have been a good reason I avoid conflicts with some people. Shaking it off doesn't always come naturally.
I'm distressed to see how much of a dick this guy is turning out to be. Like someone pointed out today, he's like a poison in our department. He likes to stir things up. Someone else said he's proving to be a compulsive liar as well. Pitching the other new person against us as well and covering his ass at everyone else's expense.
I haven't caught him in one of these personally, and I don't necessarily believe that saying "where there is smoke…". But GODDAM if this guy didn't manage to get me angry enough to get my temperature to rise. Literally. I felt this hot anger rise up my torso and into my face and head. My first thought was to get up and tell him off LOUDLY, but I held back. I had to. Otherwise, I would have been the only one to come away looking like a fool.
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