digsite

Dennis has always said that he doesn’t want to have anymore kids. Two is the “perfect” number for him probably because he’s only one of two kids himself and he never wanted for more siblings. I’m one of five myself so I don’t share his same opinion.

The fact that Dennis only wants two doesn’t have me in a depressed mess, tho. I mean, we both work full time and we both are a bit selfish and want time for our own adult shit. Raising two small kids hasn’t been a walk in the park all the time either. I get a kick out of making him sweat from time to time and making comments like “Well, when you’re son is older he can help you with that”. He freaks otu and says “You’re not pregnant, are you? I don’t want a son!”. OK, sure he doesn’t. I can’t understand a man who doesn’t yearn for a son, but whatever.

Even knowing how he feels, I couldn’t bring myself to have my tubes tied after I had Maya. It just didn’t feel like it was the right thing so now I’m not fixed and neither is he. We could still get pregnant again but I’m supposed to get an iud soon not to mention I also feel that we could be as lucky as we’ve always been and not get pregnant with our simple pull-out methods. Yeees, I know I know. I’m well aware of that joke that goes. What do you call a couple that uses the rythmn method? Parents! Yes yes. But really, it’s worked for us before. Except with Jada. Because he didn’t even try to pull out that night.. sigh. But I don’t think either of us could imagine not having her now that she’s here.

So anyways, I hadn’t been feeling well last week so we thought maybe one got away from him. I took a pg test yesterday and it was negative. Surprisingly, tho, he was not acting like he would run for the hills had I been pregnant. This was surprising for me because it seems like there is at least the tiniest smidgen of hope that he’d be open to the idea one day. I don’t want another anytime soon myself, but I still like to think the possibility is there.

All other things aside, like our jobs, time, finances, etc, I feel that we need another kid in our lives. Although I don’t want one right now, I just don’t see how our lives will feel right in 15 years once they’re all grown up if we only had two. And the fun in between! Sure there are tough times especially now that they are so little but this time is short and will be over soon. Times flies and it will seem that way for us too even tho it’s not all roses right now. Dennis’ family seems so in need of more people to me and mine so disfunctional that I want ours to be more full. I have visions of us sitting at the table at thanksgiving with a our three kids and their significant others. If each of them have 2 kids each that would make dinner at the morshays a party of 14? Can you imagine the fun? We’d never be lonely seniors. sigh…

But I won’t torture my poor hubby with threats of more spawn anymore. You can breath again now. :)