This day, I suppose, could have been different had I not immediately gotten on the laptop when I woke up. I should have taken a bath. I should have started on the laundry, I should have unloaded the dish washer. Anything. Everything. But what happened is I started something I probably should have waited until tonight to start. And as with all my previous internet projects, I became obsessed with it.
At noon with a nagging, annoying daughter #1 and whiney, clingy daughter #2 I threw the towel in and shut my laptop. But by then I was already in a horrible mood. I wanted to blame Jada for being stubborn, not listening, peeing in her bed, whatever. But truth is the way my day has gone till now is my fault.
My worst fear has come true. Maya is sick. Goddam why the fuck does she have to go and get sick now?! And if that wasn’t bad enough, she’s constipated. Shitting rocks and screaming in the process. Just 20 minutes ago I had to take her diaper off and help her poop. I just applied pressure on the sides to help it come out, don’t start thinking gross things now. She got two rocks out and then fell asleep from the exhaustion. I gotta give her some prunes and pears today.
Anyway, they are both asleep and I’m taking a break from the laundry. I would love to get two hours of peace but that might be asking for too much. An hour. PLEASE! an hour would be great.
I’ve already calmed down. This would have been a much angrier post had I written it just 30 minutes ago. I hope this break is enough to get me into a better mood. Poor Jada has been on the receiving end of my wrath all morning. But goddamn that kid is fucken stubborn!! I have had to call her name at least 10 times in a row before she acknowleges I’m calling her. I’ve resorted to screeming which she responds to with a stupid smile and just doing whatever it is I have been yelling at her to do without even looking at me. I’m going to have to stop the screaming (completely ineffective) and start pulling a single hair out of her scull after the third call.
Oh my god! I need a smoother end of the day.
Frustrated
Just don’t forget to breathe…deeply. Things will be all right - it sounds like the kids miss their dad
Reply to TugIt will all be OK. Jada is testing you since Daddy is not around. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with all this right now. . . . . aren’t you just DYING for hubby to get back??? I know I would be.
Just remember. . . you can do this and much more. Breathe, relax and be still for 2 minutes. It will help.
I believe in YOU!
Reply to Knittingnursethanks guys. I’m trying. I swear I think my genes said “hmm.. what can we create here that will push her buttons the most.. Oh yea!”
But I think .. I hope.. that things will only get smoother from here. We’ll see.
Reply to Tania (digsite)