digsite

Not much to report today. I cleaned dog pee on two separate occasions. Same with dog poop even tho I let them out three times. They don’t like walking on wet grass. I thought about how wonderful it would be to be dogless for the 2nd and 3rd times this week. They really piss me off.

It was daycare day for Jada so I got a nice break from her. When I dropped her off, tho, I saw some behaviour with another kid that started to get me worried. I was always the social retard growing up which translated into my being a social retard as an adult and I don’t want that for her. She looks so much like me that I worry she might start to be like me in that regard too so I’m always looking out for signs.

She separated herself from the other kids and went to stand all alone at the other side of the room. She did this after she did something to make one of the kids mad enough to scream at her. I didn’t catch whatever it was she did but it made that kid pretty freaken angry! Part of my social retardedness also involved being mean to other kids because I lacked the communication skills to be anything else.

This caused something to click in my brain today. She needs me to help her. Common sense, I know, but sometimes it takes an “aha!” moment for things to sink in. Just sitting by her as she does whatever it is 3.5 year olds do should boost her self confidence and talking her through stuff besides the usual “Jada don’t do that” crap should help her learn how to communicate. I still suck at it myself but at an adult level. I usually just let her do her own thing by herself because the wee bit of me time I get is so scarce but she really could use it. I tried to do it more today but it was hard with Maya screaming everytime I walked away from her too.

Anyway, that’s something I gotta work on some more.

I also spent a bit of time on my “fatblog”. I don’t know how that’s going to work out because I’ve always been against sharing that part of my life with anybody. I had always believed that talking about it would sabatoge my efforts, well, because it has. But my last couple attempts were kept secret and I was even less successful at doing anything. In fact, I gained 8 lbs. So it’s back to the drawing board.

Oh, and great news! Dennis is coming home tomorrow night. He called me earlier today (1am German time) completely sloshed again after spending the day in Munich. Yeah, he’s had a good time. It seems theemployees at the pub he’s been frequenting already know him by name and the bartender gives him free drinks here and there. Thank the gods it’s within walking distance from the hotel. So I’ll be picking him up tomorrow sometime around 9pm. It will be interesting to see how Jada reacts to seeing him after this long hiatus. The other day she mentioned that “daddy hiding” and that she wanted to play hide and seek. LOL! I wonder where she thinks daddy is hiding.