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Well, vacation is over so the vacation posting marathon is over as well.

I picked Dennis up from the airport last night and he was already waiting by luggage when I got there. Jada was SO happy to see him that she ran to him and after giving him a big hug she started acting all goofy jumping around like a doof. He said he felt weird being back. I bet. I feel weird everytime I go to Miami and come back, imagine going to another country on a different continent. LOL!

So I work for three days this week and then I have saturday off. We’re going to Sarasota on saturday but it’s not certain what day we’ll be coming back.

At any rate, it feels wierd being back at work for me. No kids so that’s a plus, but I’ve exchanged kids for feeling this invisible “boss” over my shoulder. He’s not even here yet and I feel this weight on my shoulders like he’s watching my every move. Will he even come by to say hello after I had been out for so long? I rather he stay away, to tell the truth.

To change the subject tho, I walked over the Dunkin to get breakfast this morning and on the way back I realized how I had been so much at peace with myself the last 10 days.

Normally, through the course of the day, some event will occur that will translate into self doubt and awkwardness within myself. It doesn’t take much. A look, a thought, whatever. The negative self talk starts, etc, but I realized I didn’t feel that at all over the last 10 days. Of course, I didn’t have much opportunity to be around other adults but even when I went to the birthday party with the other moms, I felt OK. I did feel a little odd and unsure about some of them but I was still my best pal inside and managed to get through it without feeling that low self confidence creeping through. I felt sure with myself.

I have gotten a lot quicker about brushing those negative feelings away, but I still haven’t figured out how to stop them from happening in the first place. It’s not a good feeling. I don’t like it. I hope I can hang on to this “I don’t care” feeling a while.