digsite

I have a very good friend who I met in ‘98 at my first “real” job out of college. We became so close our coworkers thought we were dating. He’s a great listener and always gave great advice. I enjoyed his company to no end. And I’d like to think he enjoyed my company just as much. :)

Well, we sortof lost contact after my second baby was born and we had gone a good 6 months without even talking on the phone. I had thought about him a lot lately and wondered why he hadn’t called me either. I finally called him today and we chatted a little bit. We got caught up but the conversation felt a little dry. I guess when you go that long without talking to someone, you lose grasp of the things that made the relationship special. So the big news of the day is he’s getting married.

I liked his girlfriend up until he told me that she had accused him of being interested in me and “cupping my breast” during my kid’s birthday party. WTF was that?! We had never had that kind of relationship. What did she think of me as a person if she thought I’d be capable letting someone do that to me?! I dunno. She must have thought I was a whore?! After that, I couldn’t be myself when she was around anymore. Things got awkward for me. So I secretly hoped that they’d break up.

I always liked her otherwise. In fact, I wish he had never told me of her accusations. I would have been much happier not knowing it.

But anyway, I came away from the call today feeling depressed. I miss my friend so much and I miss our friendship. And I think now that he’ll be getting married, I won’t be able to have it how it was because I feel too uneasy when they come over to be myself. Now if I want to rekindle our friendship, I need to put aside my feelings about her and be friends with her as well. And putting aside my feelings about someone has never come easy. But I’m gonna have to because I miss my friend so much. Man, this is probably the first time ever I’ve valued any friendship as much as this.