digsite

The kids and I set up the little pool in the backyard today and we did lots of splashing around. It wasn’t until it was half full that D mentioned the water restrictions. Ooops! I had forgotten about that! Oh well.

After a couple hours of fun, we called it quits, emptied the pool, and went inside. I got in the shower with J and on the way back out, I noticed a pain in my right armpit. I think I had felt it a couple times before but I never thought much about it. This time I put my hand over the area just to rub it. I wasn’t really thinking about it much, I was just rubbing the area.

Well, I found a lump. Time slowed down and the walls closed in on me. The last time I had that reaction to something was when the pregnancy test turned out positive (in 2002). I sat down on my bed and my brain engaged in a series of thoughts I can only describe as …fascinating.

Sssshit! This is it. I’ve got cancer. I’m going to die. I’m not surprised. This is the way it’s going to be then. Too bad I never got life insurance. Man, Dennis and the kids are going to struggle. Dammit, I guess I shouldn’t get that camera now then. They’re going to need the money more than I need that camera. Dammit I should have gotten it a long time ago at least I would have enjoyed it. But it’s too late now. I won’t need a camera where I’m going. Crap.

I sat there, having just thought these things and realized how strange it was. The Camera?! That is what I was regretting?

Then I got dressed and went into the other bathroom which is a lot brighter with a wall to wall mirror and I “played” with the lump. I poked at it and it sorta felt like I could squeeze it even tho it felt big and deep. So I squeezed and saw that it was really just a huge zit. I’ve never gotten one of them in an armpit before. I thought it was a diseased, cancerous lymph node. Not a huge freakish zit-o-saurus mutant pimple. Yeah..

So I guess this is a sign that I should just go ahead and buy the fucken camera.