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When I went to Walgreen’s a few weeks ago with the kids to get Jada her precious M&M candies, I walked up and down the isles looking at stuff I probably didn’t need but might end up buying anyway. Jada sometimes grabs things from the shelves, shows them to me and then puts them back. I let her do it as long as she puts the stuff back.

Well as I was standing and staring at some of the stuff I probably didn’t need but that were calling out to me, like loofah sponges and foot cremes when she grabbed this little gem of an item from somewhere and started smearing it on her lips.

I was horrified. What was this shit. Shit? I mean, really. What is shit?!! At first I thought some kid playing a prank might have left it behind, but no … there was a stack full of them on display.

I took it from her and sniffed it. Nope, didn’t smell like shit. Then I put some on my lips. It actually smelled kind of mediciney. So I kept it because J didn’t want to put it back and I walked around the store with it in my hand and when I was done I payed for her candy and whatever else I threw in the cart. I didn’t realize I still had the chicken poop in my hand untill after I left. So I ended up stealing it. Wonderful lesson I taught my kid there! I hope she watched very carefully as I left with something that hadn’t been ringed up.

But the stuff is not bad actually. Who knew chicken poop could make lips so smooth.