digsite

That’s pretty much the truth of it. My private journal has gone days without an entry as well. I just don’t want to write. I have been filling my time at work with (gasp!) actual work. And I’ve been filling my time at home with housework and lots of parental patience (which, quite frankly, takes a lot of energy to achieve). All of this “progress” is not only making me feel better, but it’s also just the way I’ve been avoiding the real issues. My therapist is right, it will come back to bite me again someday if I don’t’ face it now. I even deliberately missed my last appointment with her so that I wouldn’t have to talk about one or two things.

I’m still taking the pills, they help. But last week I started to get depressed again. Maybe that was just this stuff coming back to bite me. I don’t’ know. I just don’t know how thinking about the past and reliving it and writing about it will help me get passed it. How can it? All I ever feel when I do things things is BAD.

I like it better when I don’t have to face “it”. So that’s it for now. ;)