Digsite

“Inspiration within is waiting for you.
It’s time to go deep.”

Perfect.

I had one..

2 xmas’s ago, it was shit. Last year, I can’t remember. But this one was good. Not only were there no marital arguments, no depression of the 3rd kind, and no unpleasant family drama. But I got the awesomest gift ever. This little fucker is the coolest thing I’ve ever had.

Yes, yes… it’s just a vacuum. But how many vacuums have you ever known to have a name? Ours answers to “Bob”. Ok so he doesn’t really answer to Bob.. but that’s what we call him.
Why he’s a ‘he’ and not a ‘she’ …I don’t know. If you think about it, it really should be a she. It has a cavity where stuff gets deposited, har. it sucks, , It cleans.

On the other side of the coin, tho, it is kinda flat chested.. it doesn’t do windows. And it’s got this … thing. that sticks out of it which it keeps trying to shove into all the crevices in the house..

Oh god, he’s just another horny fucker in the house.

Ok so I’ve calmed down since yesterday and I realize (although I knew at the time) that I was acting a wee bit childish.. That’s OK. Time cures all (I hope)

Well lemme try not to think about it too much cuz I’m beginning to get pissded again…

Ok subject change. But anyway… sigh.

One thing led to another last night and now I’m getting the new k2 changed for this site. It started out with trying to email a post to the blog which didn’t work. So I updated wordpress to the latest version , which broke the theme and a bunch of plugins. sighh…

So here we are.

First, I turned off comments on this blog because all I get is spam these days and I got tired of deleting them. Whenever I get the urge I may look into my spam control and see why it’s not working like it should but for right now, I don’t give a shit.

Today was a day full of frustrations. It started out with my getting pissed off at those of you out there who have nothing better to do than to hack sites. Fuck you, you fucking basturds! That frustration turned into a headache. Two pain pills and a couple hours later, my angst melted away and turned to excitement when I started playing with a wiki. But then it went right back back to frustration and being pissed.

I think I’ll make my own damned wiki so I can play with it all the fuck I want. Goddammit. So much for trying to be proactive and helpful. Being a lazy ass is a lot easier because you just don’t give a shit about anything. I put a ton of effort into trying to CARE about things and then get crushed and beat down too easily.

FUCK.

Maybe I’ve grown too dependent on my damned “happy” pills. Those fucking “I care a bit more now” pills. But sometimes all they do is lift you up just enough for someone or something to slam you right back the fuck down.

Now I’m home and snapping at my kids. It’s the weekend but instead of looking ahead, and cleaning up a bit around this damned pig sty, I’m sitting here at this fucken laptop typing up a fucking rant about my fucking job and my fucking life. I just want to scream and say at the top of my lungs…

FUCK YOU! FUUCK YOUUUU!!

I’m beginning to get bored with work again. Sigh… I think my obsessive self is to blame.

Another thing that ruins it for me is that I’m still easily diheartened by things. The concurrence thing nearly ruined everything for me. Then that was taken care of thanksfully. But now, I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I just need a vacation.

I’m not just feeling bored with work. I feel bored with everything. I wonder if depression is creeping up again. Maybe it’s the holidays. I dunno.

On my way to work this morning I made a self observation. I’m still in a bit of a mental coma. I’ve been enjoying certain things more but a lot still feels emotionless. I realize this all started in 2003. I’m still not 100%.

Sigh… The rest of the way is going to take more effort than a daily pill. I’m going to have to put down my obsessions and make myself focus on other things to maybe open my mind a little. I’ve just been way too focused on work. I need to expand my horizons.