In the last 7 days I have probably taken my anti-depressant medication twice. It wasn’t planned, even tho I’d like to get off these things someday. I was just being forgetful. I’ve been tired, dizzy, seeing double, seeing flying black things out of the corner of my eyes, sleeping alot, and I’ve had a light, constant headache.
I would have taken a dose last night, but something made me think twice. Last night, I was still feeling “ok”, even tho I was not feeling right as I said. I could still survive skipping the dose. But tonight is another matter entirely. My eyelids are heavy the back of my head an neck feel as tho something is pulling my brain back. My head hurts a lot more now as well.
I don’t know that anything has changed much with my mood. I can think a little straighter today tho. Yesterday I was a mess. In fact, I haven’t been able to think straight for a long time.
I’m just tired of depending on some stupid pills and feeling as tho I’m so hooked I can’t function day to day without them. And it’s not so much about depression anymore either. It’s a matter of not being in pain, seeing straight, and being able to think. WTF?
As I see it I can do one of two things right now:
One, start taking them again today, then talk to my head doctor about getting off them eventually. She’s a big meds pusher so I just know she’s not going to be supportive about stopping them.
Or two, just quit them right now. I’m already in the throws of withdrawal. So why turn back? If I find that I don’t fall back into depression without them, then I can just tell my head doctor to fuck off. I think I might end up taking a dose tho, to take the edge off. wtf is the difference between this and any other addictive drug anyway?
There is no difference between subscription drugs and illegal ones, it’s just that illegal ones (the good ones) aren’t made in America so they’re commercialization is not permitted in America.
I say stay off the pills as long as you can, maybe your body will start to produce the happy/pain killing chemicals you need by it’s own, in time.
Sorry for not commenting more often, I do read this all the time, it’s just that it’s kinda like reading the Bible.. “A superior language” I have a hard time posting a comment up to par with it, if you know what I mean.
Reply to watcherx305wow, I know you read all the time, but I think this is the first comment you’ve ever made! Congratulations! :)
Are you saying that I possess superior english writing ability? If so, let’s just say I wish sometimes I could just SPIT IT OUT.
Anyways… thanks for the advice. I’m trying to not be on that shit anymore. Even the experts don’t know how anti-depressants work. In my mind, they’re just another psychotropic drug … like weed.
Reply to Tania (digsite)