Until FB became part of my daily habits, I never missed a month where I didn’t blog something here. But now I have skipped over 3 months. 2009 August, October, December. And none yet for 2010 except for this one. I even missed the usual end of year “I’m pumped up” resolution blog post for 2010. Too late for that now but those never work anyway so I’m not broken up about it.
I have always done my best thinking while writing a blog post so maybe I should start that back up. So here goes.
Have been sick since Sunday even requiring a hasty strip to the ER on Monday night when I found myself unable to breath. Twice. It was scary scary scary. The only way I could get thru it was to concentrate with all my might on calming myself down. My throat closed up as if I’d had an allergic reaction. I think the reaction was to the humidity after taking an incredibly long shower. The humidity always screws up my sinuses, but never had affected my throat like that.
So now I’m on medications (antibiotic and a steroid for swelling) and I think I can attribute my current feeling of pumped-upedness to the steroids. Damn I feel good right now. Focused! but still scatter brained. I feel able to tackle something… but haven’t started yet. My mind keeps wandering off into tangents so I figured blogging here might get that out of my system somehow. We’ll see.
Speaking of wandering minds tho, my meds doctor thinks I may have ADHD. I dont’ think I’m hyperactive so I’ll change that to ADD for now. I think she’s right. I haven’t been able to focus on any one thing long enough to complete it since 2007. It’s affecting my work and eventually I think it may affect my job. It hasn’t affected my employment …yet.. because I think my boss is an incredibly patient person but I really need to get my shit together because it’s definitly affecting my own sanity. I don’t like feeling as if I’m useless and unreliable. And I can apply that to more than just my job. Homelife is just as badly managed and maintained. I could do more for my kids, my house, my marriage, my self. If I could just apply myself.
My latest goal is to lose a few pounds. I don’t want to be the fat cow sister / sister-in-law at their weddings. Even tho I’m going as guest status and not “in” the wedding. It still would mean a lot to me if I could lose a few and fit in a descent dress and be presentable. That’s one of my biggest goals now.
I like blogging. That felt good. I need to keep this up from now on again. 
Facebook is ‘fast food drive-thru’ blogging. Just ain’t the same.
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