digsite

So what else would I want to rant or write about but the disastrous state of my house? That’s all making the news these days. I went from being exTREMEly anal and not tolerating the smallest thing out of place, to being completely uncaring of things and throwing towels and laundry on the floor and sleeping on dirty sheets. So sad. I was wondering last week if I might be getting depressed again.

I’ll say one thing for certain tho.. and it’s that sometimes I feel like I’m not living my waking hours in a state where I’m surrounded by reality. In other words, I feel as if I’m living in a constant dream-state. Every now and again something jars me out of it long enough to notice that I’m not living in the now.

Just last week I looked over at my kids and a sense of reality washed over me. I “woke up” and suddenly realized that I have two kids and it was as if I was seeing them for the first time. It was a surprising moment. Like cold water splashing on my face. I felt like I was missing out on something good.

I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I bury myself in one thing or another and don’t look up often enough to interact with the real people around me, where I live, and the normal household chores I should be keeping up with. Hence, the disastrous state of my house.

I have good news tho, my house is finally getting painted. The guy across the street is doing the work… slowly… because he does it in the evenings, but we have one full coat of primer on the house now. Sometime in the next few days, the first coat of paint will go up. I’m not totally sold on the color I chose, but the one I really want is close enough that if I change my mind after coat #1, I will get the second half of the paint in that color instead.

I have more to say.. but that would be going off on a tangent. More later. ciao!