Almost every night after I close the last kid’s bedroom door and I walk away, I get my daily dose of guilt and remorse. Some days depending on how much of a pain in the ass Jada decides to be, I can be downright mean to her at bed time. She goes to bed crying most nights and I plop down on the couch stressed the fuck out, pissed, and frustrated.
The problem is her stubborness and her slowness executing my commands. I would LOVE to tell her to put on her pajamas ONCE! and go back 5 minutes later to find her wearing her pajamas. Not crawling into the closet on all fours, not playing with chairs, not moving like a snail thru her pj’s in her dresser drawer. SHE IS SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!
And she likes to argue SO MUCH! The first thing out of her mouth after I ask her to do anything is “but..”
So I went looking for help on the internet to help me become a more patient parent, and here’s what I found. From Here
Here’s a copy&paste of some suggestions I think might help me.
# Pretend someone’s watching. I forgot where I read this tip (a couple places, I think), but it’s effective. Pretend you have an audience. You’re less likely to overreact with your child if someone’s there watching your every move.
# How does this help? When I’m about to say something to my kids, when I can remember, I ask myself, “How does this help my child?” This helps me to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation.
# Teach. This is something that helps me a lot. I remember that my kids are just kids — they are not perfect, they do not know how to do things, and they have a lot to learn. I am their teacher. I must be patient, and teach them how to do things — even if I’ve tried to teach them 10 times before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try either. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
# Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
Oh dear god I hope some of this helps or I might have to put someone up for adoption.
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