Going Deep
I’m sitting in the living room watching something on the tube.
My daughter J, who still has speech delays but who is shocking me more and more when she blurts out complete sentences is standing by the coffee table playing with her sticker letters.
She says, “Look mommy is my name”
I look over and she’s put the stickers on the table and they spell “a-d-a-j”
Then she says, “j-a-d-a, Jada! Just like me!”
I’m shocked she spelled her name, but I hope she’s not dyslexic!
Why in the hell do some kids find it necessary to EAT THEIR BOOGERS!! I caught Jada doing this a week or two ago and I nearly threw up. OMG! I saw her doing it one other time and it was even more gross than the first. It was gooey and there was a long clear strand going from her nose to her upper lip to her mouth. WTF!!
Oh, i gotta stop thinking about this cuz I’m feeling nausious again.
NauseatedI’ve just picked Jada up from daycare and I’m driving us home. She’s in her carseat yammering away about some nonsense or other.
Jada: “Mommy, mommy, mommy!”
Me: “What? what? what?”
Jada: “ringarung”
Me: “Huh?”
Jada: “ringarung”
Me: “What?!”
Jada: “ringarung”
Me: I pause .. ok, she’s probably just spewing more of her nonsense but I’ll play along. “rarara?”
Jada: “No, ringarung”
Me: I pause again. brain hurting. she must really think she’s saying something here “ringarah?”
Jada: “No! ringarung!”
Me: “ringarung?”
Jada: “Yeah! ringarung!”
Me: “What’s ringarung??”
Jada: “ringarung da rosie”
After slapping myself a few times and taking a couple breaths, I realize how good this would work in a knock-knock joke. I go ahead and sing the song for her.
Me: “Ring around the rosie. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall down!”
Jada: “ahrite! Very good mommy!”
So we get home from Applebee’s tonight and I put Oobi on for my daughter Jada and I start to read an anonymous president-of-the-hoa bashing letter I found in our mailbox out loud when Jada says to me.
her: Starting out loud and lowering her voice with each mommy. “MOMMY!? mOMMY? mommy?”
me: “Yes?”
her: nearly whispering, “um.. watch booby now?”
Apparently I was reading it too loudly making it hard for her to hear the tv. I wasn’t sure so I started reading again and she did the same.. “um, watch booby now?…”
We’re usually the ones asking her to pipe down. What’s this world coming to?!
ShockedOf all of the parental duties I have to undertake, the nightly poop scoop is hands down the least rewarding.
Jada has been getting potty trained since about April. Her “#1″ business has been under control for a while now. She even goes to the bathroom on her own, wipes herself, and flushes. The only thing she has trouble with is turning off the bathroom light and putting her bottoms back on. Not bad, eh?
Her “#2″ situation isn’t as good, I’m afraid. She just won’t go during the day and instead she saves it until she’s in bed during her nap or at night. It doesn’t take long either. You can put her in bed, close the door, scratch your ass, sit down, launch a browser, read half a blog post and that’s it. She’s up, light on, and making a racket in her room.
As soon as I open her bedroom door and she says “I poop”. Sigh… I wish I knew when she’s going to stop doing this because then at least I could just suck it up and deal with it until then. But it seems neverending with no improvement to give me hope. Same routine. Every night. I even tried the “angry mom” bit but that only made her nervous and I don’t want her going to bed nervous or afraid so we’re right back to just making a face, and repeating the potty lines;
me: “Jada, where do we poop?”
her: “Inna toilet.”
me: “right! Not in your pants, ok?”
her: looking despondent “oookaaay”
I guess one day she’ll decide pooping in bed is not cool.
I just scheduled eleven days of vacation for early next month. I’m not going anywhere, just staying at home. I’m not even going to have company either.ÂÂ
I had to schedule it because Dennis will be going to Germany on business and I need to stay home with the kids since we really don’t have anybody who can babysit them while I’m at work. We had thought of packing up everybody and making a big trip out of Germany but I’m not so sure I want to do that with a 7 month old baby. I rather wait until they’re older so at least the older one can remember it a little and we could leave the strollers and play pens at home.
The downside of this is that I’ll be using up every last one of my vacation days for the year which means that I won’t be able to take any time off for the holidays. That’s OK tho. I’m looking forward to the eleven days alone with the kids. It will be a nice vacation from everything. Sure I’ll have kids to look after but that’s no big deal for me. I’ll take them out during the day and go to the park or the mall and make it fun for them too.
God forbid, tho, that anybody gets sick during those days. Now that would completely ruin the whole thing.
Who the hell am I?
I'm a mother of two, wife of one, pet owner of four.
ANDMy name is Tania.
And this is my blog.
Add a Comment