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So I showed up at the obgyn office today out of the blue to talk to my ob (cuz i just knew calling would take forever) and let me tell you i was shocked at one of the nurse’s reaction .. you’d think i wasn’t a patient and just dropped in from the street or something “oh no! we don’t take walkins!! ” blah blah!

I was like… i KNOW you don’t take walkins lady i’m not here for an appointment, i just want to either talk to the dr. or reschedule my c/s etc..

long story short, they let me talk to the c/s scheduling lady and leave my info and I left. my ob called a while ago and i was able to talk to him about rescheduling the appointment. He said that this late he really doesn’t think I have good chances for a vbac.. whatever.. so i played the ‘420′ card and said my dh doesn’t like that date and can we reschedule anyways. (i said it in a nice way tho :) ) He said sure and I got a call again later from the scheduling lady with the new date. Monday 4/24 5:30pm. I’m sooo happy for that! So that gives me 5 extra days to go into labor on my own and try my vbac anyways, and if I don’t then she’ll be born by monday night no matter what.

Now I feel pretty good about this. Even if I end up with the c/s I don’t think I will regret it because I did all I could to make the vbac happen short of completely dropping my obgyn. LOL!. by monday i will be more than a week overdue. I’m SO excited that I’ll have my baby by monday. woohoo!!

now the only problem is fil and he probably not being able to watch J that day thanks to his insanity in taking this whole week off. ugh! if worse comes to worse, we’ll drive her over to my grandmother’s monday morning which is an hour away.

ugh. I dunno how I feel about this. I feel so conflicted.

So he says I’m the same as last week but the head “isn’t very low”. He went ahead and stripped my membranes again so i’m in a bit of pain. He said something to the effect that he can’t let me go too much farther past 41 wks and also that the longer I go, the bigger the baby will get and the lower my chances will be of a successful VBAC. He was going to say that if i made it to my next appt, he’d want to schedule a c/s but I jumped the gun and asked if i could schedule it now for then he said definitely and suggested thursday the 20th. So after I was done in there I went to the lady who does the scheduling and she was able to book me in for the 20th at 5:30pm which she mentioned was ‘miraculous’ considering the short notice.

At first i felt excited about the c/s being scheduled but as soon as I left I started to feel REALLY bumbed out about it. Even got the biggest headache thinking about it. There are a couple things that make the thursday c/s a good thing, but then there’s my personal feelings about it. I would rather try and fail at a vbac than not try at all.

c/s pros
1. fil has already scheduled this entire week off work and returns to work on monday. It’d be convenient if she were born while he was still off. Even tho the fact that he scheduled this time off is rediculous. We told him a hundred times nobody knows when she’s going to be born!
2. 2 weeks of my maternity leave is going to be “wasted” so far. I’m not too happy about that. I don’t want to make it 3 weeks wasted.
3. I’ll be done waiting and baby will be here in 3 days!

c/s cons
1. I’ll be unhappy about not trying a vbac and if i have complications from it, depression, and so on I’m going to regret it.

I talked about trying castor oil again today but dh is against it. So I probably won’t try it at all. … well… i’m i’m still preggy wed morning. Maybe i still will. ugh.. i dunno.

I could technically change my mind, call up my doc and see if they can reschedule the c/s or just cancel it till my next appt. One thing I forgot to ask about is if he would break my water to see if that started labor. Something tells me the answer to that would be no. But I would have like to ask anyway. Maybe i’ll call in the morning to ask it.

I wish someone could tell me what to do cuz i just don’t know. dh is zero help he just keeps saying “do whatever you feel comfortable with”. Sad I wish i had a crystal ball right about now.