I can’t concentrate
I can’t think straight
I can’t focus
I can’t complete a task
I’m having an adult adhd day …if that’s possible.
I’m at a loss
I’m at a crossroads
I seem to be unable to decide what to do next with every single aspect. I’m working on 2+ things at a time and I can’t finish either because I keep moving from one to the other and back. My brain actually feels scrambled.
I made one decision in the shower this morning. And if I stick with it maybe it will give me a feeling of being grounded again. Between that, and getting a handle on work again (which I’m having so much trouble doing..) I might be able to dig my heals into something.
Between my week off from work 2 weeks ago, and my ocd kicking in over to do lists last week …and everything else, I have fallen horribly behind on my work projects. The perfection I’ve striven to achieve is going down the tubes and fast. But I’m optimistic. I have more control over work issues then anything else. Or at least I did before this month. And I need to regain control so that I can feel good about something again.
Anyways.. I need to triage my projects and to dos today. It’s daunting. I don’t have a system that ever worked right. OK… here goes…
I just realized something this morning. Work has not only become an obsession, it’s my escape. I’m here, and I’m happy.
So I’m slowly getting back into the groove at work (btw, the slowness at which I adjust to change could land a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records), and I reaffirmed for myself today just how bad I am at getting back to important emails. I tend to flag and forget a LOT. How do I get out of this habit?
I think what I need is to set aside some time each week to deal with flagged email .. but the sad thing is, I can’t do this at work. The distraction at work is too great. I rarely get to work on project work at work. This is why (before vacation) I would work from home a lot. It wasn’t really a chore for me. I enjoyed it.
Now tho? I find I am spending way more time working on the house than on work stuff when I’m at home. This is good. VERY good. Because I not only feel good about work, I feel good about my home too. I think as soon as all this catch up work I’m doing is over with, I’ll spend a great deal of time on work at home again. OR a new hobby perhaps? We’ll see.
One thing that will help greatly is that we are working on getting the baby’s room cleared out to turn it into an office. I still need to sell a dresser, crib, changing table and glider chair. I’m very excited about a few changes I’m making to the interior of the house. My goal is just to make it feel more like a home instead of some walls and a roof we live under. It’s never really felt good to me.
But yea, flag and forget? This needs to change. Another thorn my borderline OCD self needs work out of her side.
it’s been a week since I last posted.. same time Maya first got sick. Her cold is much better but she still has sinus problems from time to time so I’ve got to keep putting saline drops in her nose and just yesterday we got a prescription that reeeally helps a lot with sinus congestion. … it also seems to knock her senseless which is a very nice little side effect! heeheehee ;)
My own cold has traveled on to my lungs… joy. Basically everybody in the house has had this cold and is in different stages of it. I’m in the constant runny nose / non-productive noisy chest cough stage. I absolutely hate this part of it.
well aside from this, “things” are OK i guess. We’ll be having in law visitors next weekend and my sister may also be coming down at some point. My parents are still in town so I’ll be driving down again either tomorrow or friday (probably the latter). I go back to work in about another month I think the date is first week of July? I gotta check that.
Going back has its pros and cons for me. I think dennis will be able to handle both girls but things like Jada’s speech therapy may have to come to a screeching halt because I don’t see him juggling both girls for a 30 minute session. Her last session is supposed to be end of July anyways. I guess as long as one of her session is held on mondays we can at least do it halfway.
but ANYway.. I will be making a trip to work with the baby soon. Next week. either tuesday or thursday before lunch sometime… I feel bad that I haven’t dropped by work yet. Maya had her first shots yesterday. Hepatitis.. C i believe.
well… she’s awake and wheezing again .. that was a short nap!
I frequent a couple of Due in April boards and the first baby was born yesterday. Another of the girls is in labor today. Amazing. One of them only 34 weeks preggo. I’m 3 days away from being 34 weeks preggo. While I don’t think this baby will be that early, it still is amazing to know they are coming.
I’m glad we’ve been getting so much stuff done. I think I only need 2 more weeks to get all the critical baby stuff accomplished at home. I also need to get loose ends wrapped up at work. (That may take a longer period of time — like 3 weeks) but anyways, I think I should have everything done as long as I keep my eye on the ball (and my todo lists)
For the last 2 weeks, I had been using weekly todo lists to help me accomplish a few things every week. But it didn’t work as well as it did this week when I decided to create daily tasks instead of weekly ones. I have some for D, some for me and so far it’s been working great. the todo lists for the last 3 days have been insane but very helpful and I feel a sense of accomplishment. The light at the end of the tunnel is barely visible. I think as soon as we get next week over with, I’ll finally be able to concentrate on washing and prepping all the ’stuff’ for this baby. I can’t wait!
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